Chapter 4: Bananas and chocolate and bread, oh my!

Yep, the time has come. While it's been fun doing some regular cooking, and I'm pretty proud of myself for my success(yes, by my standards, this all counts as success) so far, I've been itching to do some baking. Like I said earlier, I skipped over some stuff just to get to this, and when I saw this recipe for chocolate chip banana bread it simply had to be mine!

As is the case with everything so far, I went into this as a blank slate. The only thing I've ever baked in my life were those Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies...you know, the ones that are practically already done for you. All I had to do was put each little circle of processed, preserved cookie dough onto the pan and shove it into the oven. Even then, I probably still would've burned them if it wasn't for the Pillsbury doughboy(who may or may not have been a figment of my imagination) constantly reminding me to check them while simultaneously berating and cursing at me. That story has a happy ending, however...I happily took the cookies out of the oven, left the temperature on 450, and carefully placed the doughboy inside it, excited to know he would never harass me again. Anyway...

This was probably among the most expensive two loaves of bread every produced, since I literally had none of the ingredients other than eggs. No, not even baking soda. I spent like fifty bucks just getting everything together for this momentous occasion...bread pans, vanilla extract, baking powder, etc, etc, so I HAD to succeed!

I was also told that apparently you're supposed to wait until the bananas have started to get mushy before using them for banana...a fact I was not aware of, unsurprisingly. I wasn't willing to wait that long for the stupid things, so I did what any man in my position would do: I called Mom. I desperately asked for a solution to the problem, and she informed me that a couple of tablespoons of apple sauce should make up for the banana situation. So, back down to Sobey's I went for apple sauce...c'mon, you didn't expect me to actually have any on hand, did you?

After getting that, I continued my journey, step by step, terrified to put in 3/8 of a tablespoon when the recipe asked for 1/3(for those you math-challenged people, that's a difference of only 4%, but I'm not one to take chances). Twenty minutes later, the kitchen looked like a localized hurricane hit it, but I was ready! I filled up the bread pans, put them in the oven, and prepared to wait...what an agonizing 45 minutes; I felt like someone pacing around a hospital waiting room. After half and hour or so, I poked them with a toothpick and continued to do that every few minutes until I just couldn't take it anymore and took them out. What would be the result? Did I do it??

SHAZAM!! Chocolate chip banana bread! Ah, the sweet smell of success...and chocolate.